I have started to notice that the less I surf, the less I think about Surfing Etiquette. Shocker. With Summer fully upon us, however, I am quickly reminded of how many Seasonal Surfers we have around here. Many of these Summer Surfers are commonly referred to as VAL’s (Vulnerable Adult Learner), COVID Surfers, or Kooks, and it’s not quite all their fault.
As with every sport, and the culture that comes with it, there are a ton of ‘unwritten rules’ that we all abide by. Some are learned rather quickly by one’s self, such as Rule Number 9 – do not talk about surfing unless asked about surfing. Here’s why that Rule is in effect; A new surfer might get home from a session filled with that familiar stoke, that energy, feeling enthralled that he or she actually went down the line instead of straight towards the Beach.
“Babe! I got it! I’m actually surfing and going down the line!”
“Well if you are just now surfing, what have you been doing every other day this week?”
Only a surfer knows the feeling, ya know?
Some rules, however, are only learned once taught, or through a hard learned lesson, such as Rule Number 44 – don’t be the boy who cried wolf; or, don’t call someone off a wave if you are not going to go. That is a quick way to ruin your vibe in the lineup. This is why I have been writing the Official Unwritten Rulebook Of Surfing. I’m here to help you.
So here I am, back in the water a bit recently. In fact, I’ve surfed 5 of the last 7 days. Trust me, for a guy with 2 young kids, it’s kind of impressive. My surfs might be short, but they are still surfs. What qualifies as a surf? Well I’m glad you asked! That is the Rule Of The Day!
RULE NUMBER SIXTEEN –
3 Waves, or 1 Hour is a Surf Session.
This rule is admittedly borrowed from the infamous Big Dick Power Surfer, Stab’s very own Brendan Buckley. I’m not sure how long ago I heard him state this rule on a podcast, but I’ve been living by this rule for a long time. Since high school, actually, and I remember the exact session things changed for me.
I paddled out on Northside before school one day and got spooked. Really scared. Looking at it now, it was maybe a foot overhead, and pretty damn good. I can recall watching guys get in and out barrels. I got stuck out in the lineup. Scratch that; I was purposefully sitting way too far outside, terrified to catch anything and wondering how the fuck I was going to get in and go to school. I remember having a mini panic attack, finally having a dig at one wave and missing it. I couldn’t get under it.
That feeling in your gut, you know that one when you miss that set wave everyone has just been paddling and scrambling over – you know something is behind it and you don’t even want to turn around and look, that is just the worst. Your breath and energy is already spent from trying to catch the wave prior, and fuck, what do you do? Do you turn around and keep paddling towards the sand? Do you sit up, try and catch your breath and bail your board? Paddle out and try to make it under? I can’t remember what I did in that moment. What I know for sure is that I did end up catching a wave that day. One. And I got out of the water pissed off that I hadn’t caught more. Why was I so scared? Guys were getting sick waves. I survived whatever kind of beat down I got. I didn’t even feel like I had a proper surf.
So that’s part of the reasoning for this Rule – does One wave truly fill your quota? For me, that answer is a resounding no, every time. Two waves doesn’t cut it either, because sometimes you can get lucky and grab two in the same set. A Five Minute Session with Two Waves doesn’t count. Three Waves, or One Hour.
I will make a few exceptions:
- Big Wave Sessions
- Older Age
- Injury
- Disability
If you’re trying to surf Mavericks, it’s probably going to take you at least an hour to catch one wave. And believe me when I tell you that if you are that guy (or gal), that one wave out there sure as hell counts as a surf.
If you are of retirement age, which I think is what, 65? One wave is cool. I would agree to say that you surfed if you got one this am. Props.
If you are returning from an injury and can only catch a few before you’re in pain or what have you, that still counts as a surf. It’s all about the effort. Obviously, if you were to unfortunately sustain an injury while surfing your first couple of waves, that’ll check in as a surf.
Lastly, if you have any kind of disability, yet you’re still catching one or two, clock it. That’s a surf, and I am very glad to see you out there. Keep shredding.
So there you have it, Rule Number Sixteen of The Official Unwritten Rulebook Of Surfing. I don’t want to see any of you paddling in (another Surf Rule) after your one wave “surf sessions” anymore.
See you next time.
Cheers,
hwilsin
Drew Stanfield