Since you are on this website and this is, of course, a site dedicated to surfing, I know that you are familiar with ‘Hawaiian Scale’ – The original GateKeeping. There are a ton of stories of how this came about: measuring from the back of the wave, lifeguards in Hawaii trying to negate tourists, surfers trying to keep lineups empty, etc. The whole bit being about calling the waves smaller than they actually are.
I personally don’t put a number on the waves. I’ll use the body metric; chest high, head high, double overhead. But I still use a little bit of the Hawaiian scale. I don’t like to say the waves are head high if I just saw a guy surf a set wave where the face stood taller than he. I’ll call it shoulder high or so, just to be safe. I don’t want to be made out as a liar. It’s better to err on the cautious side. Swell could be dying. Tide filling in. Your buddy goes to surf, and there is not a head high wave to come through in an hour. You liar.
Now, I say all of this for a reason. It’s time for another addition to the Unwritten RuleBook of Surfing that I am currently writing.
RULE NUMBER TWENTY EIGHT –
When referring to your personal surfing ability, use Hawaiian Scale.
If, for some godforsaken reason, someone were to ask you about how you surf; a coworker, an extended relative, a potential partner, a new friend, an old friend, a boss, a drunk buddy, I don’t care who it is, use the Hawaiian Scale. Tell them you suck. Tell them you are just learning and you only ride one of those soft boards and leave it at that.
I might I kindly remind you, though of course you don’t need the reminder, of Rule Number Nine – Do not talk about surfing unless asked about surfing. This is just precautionary.
Do not, do not, DO NOT tell anyone you rip, or shred, or you’re getting pretty good, or you can get the fins out now, or you just started landing airs, or you got barreled last week, or you’ve been surfing really good lately. Just fucking lie. IF they ask, tell them you suck. It’s hard, and you actually hate it and you’re not sure why you keep going surfing.
In all seriousness, just being humble is what it’s really about. Even if you are throwing full rotations, there is a 15 year old grom who is surfing much better than you. And he probably is telling girls and groms that he rips and he landed this alley oop you should have seen and how was that last wave?
Do you want to be that? Are you 15? And to add onto that – when we do see you surf, by chance, is the tide going to start coming up? Swell dying? You liar.
Rule Number Twenty Eight –
Use Hawaiian Scale
Cheers,
hwilsin
Drew Stanfield