Would you rather surf by yourself, or with a friend/group? This goes for pretty much any activity or passion as well, snowboarding, skating, etc. What do you personally prefer? Which do you actually partake in more, single or together? Certain circumstances I understand almost a necessity for being cooperative, say, surfing a cranking swell on an unfamiliar wave, towing in, trying to get any kind of skate clip, recording any kind of music that you can’t perform yourself, reeling in a massive tuna, etc. I’m just asking on the daily, would you prefer to perform your activity of choice on your own, or with others?
Quick interlude – this is not just an introduction. I am genuinely curious into what people think, and I really like to hear any answers/feedback. I am asking anyone who reads this to reply, whether it be in the comments or to my email – [email protected]
I, yet again, have fallen amongst another dry spell. I have surfed one time in the last 59 days. Including my last surf, my previous 10+ were with someone else. Whether it be a buddy, a couple of them, or a cousin, I’ve been surfing with other people. For whatever reason, I have found myself in the only-surfs-with-friends camp. It’s kinda driving me nuts. I feel like I would have been in the water much more than I have been recently, if I would stick to my childhood ritual of forcing myself to surf.
The passion was initially struck, within myself, to just become better. Of course I loved everything about surfing: the beach, the actual performance of surfing, the looks, the style, etc. But I wanted to improve every day. I wanted to be as good as the guys I would watch on DVD or youtube. I definitely wanted to be better than any of my friends. Though this wasn’t just with surfing. Skateboarding as well, before I surfed. I would spend countless hours near the front gate of my apartments, on the curb trying 50-50’s and 5-0’s. I will never forget exactly where I was, what time of day it was, the whole ordeal of landing my first kickflip. Same thing with my first ever experience standing up on a surfboard. And nobody can take that away from you. And nobody can do that for you. You have to put in the time and work. Take the beatings and shinners. You have to do it by yourself.
The exception here is if you have a parent who pushed you into said activity. But my guess is if that was the case, you had already burned out by now, did something else for a bit, and then came back to the original activity under your own newfound passion. Either that, or you may already be a heralded CT surfer, a la Kanoa Igarashi. We all can remember one or two certain kids or friends from childhood sports in which their parents lived vicariously through them. These would be the dads showing up early to drag the field, the moms sending emails to coaches for their son/daughter not receiving enough playing time (mine), or even the grandparents storming the judging booth in protest of scores. This type of action is usually accompanied with the child falling out of interest with the sport at some point in their future, because the passion was not initially struck within themselves, but it was mandatory.
Once you are enthralled in your activity, you will find yourself snared in a community. A network, if you will. This leads to less and less time performing your passion by yourself. You will probably come to know everyone at your local or preferred break or skatepark. You’ll make friends of a similar talent level, with similar ideals, goals, and interests. You’ll receive unwarranted conditions updates – even if you specifically asked NOT to.
“Bro, it’s a bluebird day today.”
“Yo you surf? Waves are cranking!!”
You will also be brought up to speed on any cultural events, usually as they’re happening.
“Griff about to take down Portugal..”
“ Dude, (another musician) passed away :(“
What slowly starts happening is that you learn to enjoy your passion with other people, not just yourself. The world actually doesn’t revolve around only us. You may find yourself hollering some random friend from the parking lot into the set of the day. As much as you’d like to be on that wave, knowing you may well rip it much harder than them, you’re too far inside, and you can’t help yourself from shouting “yewwww!!” as they take their sketchy drop 20 yards up the line. Not only is it just the yelp, but you’re actually smiling. You are actually enjoying watching someone else reap rewards. You know that later on, maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday, you can hear the experience first hand from the friend, and get to share that experience from your perspective. Bonding. It’s not like they are taking something from you that you can’t have. There are plenty of waves. Plenty of time to share the skatepark. How many outsiders – that is, others not partaking in your shared activity – will understand the magnitude of what only few have just witnessed?
Of course, the snow does melt. We don’t have unlimited time to spend all day doing what we please. Our session could be limited from about 30 minutes, up to a couple hours. So having someone stuff you at your home break when you only have a half-hour to surf before work is pretty bleak. Especially with surfing or snowboarding where the environment is limited, pressure can build. Having one of the band members show up drunk just makes it that much harder to actually practice and improve. The thing is, not every session has to be about practice and improvement. There are so many things to enjoy about whatever it is we pursue. So many little nuances within the activity itself that should bring pleasure. Participating solo early on in my surfing and skating habits curated these views.
Travis Ferre puts it about as clear as anyone could in his “Dear Surfing” page on the Inherent Bummer site,
“Our surf lives are riddled with bummers — bad winds, broken boards, sandy feet, fat tides, missed flights, lost bags, crowds, flat spells, parking lots, wipeouts and countless strikeouts. We forget that those little bummers are actually what make the surfing experience so unique, so impossible to replicate.”
-Travis Ferre, Dear Surfing
Particularly with surfing, these bummers point to a clear indication of why some of us prefer paddling out with others. It’s so much easier, so much more appealing to share these bummers with someone else. Who wants to look like the guy running out there solo in 20 mph onshore slop? The guy who’s trying to get practice and improve, that’s who. And that’s cool. I think that is necessary from time to time to keep the stoke alive.
That’s kinda what I am missing right now. A little solo session to get back on the horse, rekindle the fire, and enjoy being bummed out for a second. Maybe a few. I love surfing with my community of friends and sparring partners, but it has been too long. Can’t get tapped out of the source. As far as preference, I don’t think I have one. I just genuinely enjoy surfing, and am actually uneasy at the fact I have been on such an ugly dry run. I can say that I favor skateboarding on my own, strictly because I suck and am embarrassing and would rather be able to practice on something without getting in anyone’s way. Snowboarding, I like to go up with friends, but I am also so bad at that activity I am usually by myself on the mountain as everyone zooms by me. I will check back in after spending a few hours in the water by myself throughout this week.
Again, looking forward to hearing anyone and everyones replies. Thanks for the time, cheers.
-hwilsin